Hey Blog!

Welcome back to life, Blog! You're like the engine that sort of could. You're like James Bond on his day off, keepin' it so lite. You can kill mean people later. Well I'm glad you're back, and I'm sure everyone else is as well. We missed you. Let's head to the pool for some cocktails, yeah?
I heard you were dabbling into web video productions, is that true? Very cool, you know that's an emerging market even though the economy is as bad as it is. Of course you knew that. Sure, I'll have another bloody, buddy. That blond by the pool is giving you the stink eye by the way. Yes I did imply that.
Well I'm really happy you're still going strong, weird comedy. You always were a fun time. We're going to hang out more, now that I don't have a full time gig. Yes, I lost my job, no I'll be all right. We get to chill more now, isn't that positive? See? Yes, tequila sounds like a fantastic transition to margaritas. Shitballs I missed you.

What's That?

I got this joke from an email sent to me by Comedy Central. Usually they're pretty bad, but this one is short and well, gross. I picture this as being a conversation between a young child and his mother on a Sunday afternoon a couple of hours after they returned from church.


"Mom, what is that wrinkley thing on Grandma?"

"That's Grandpa."

Dear Girl Whose Jacket I Put On In a Drunken Haze Last Saturday,
How are you? I hope all is well. I'm back on the East Coast keeping it lite with my friends here. Anyway, thanks for letting me borrow your jacket. You should really keep an eye on it from now on, especially if you see wasted people chowing down on con queso at 4 in the morning. Toodles!

Big Black

Three Blondes

Three blondes walk into a smoke shop more stoned than Roman adulterers. They point out the biggest bong in the whole place and giggle together as it is rung up by the young male attendant. "That'll be six-hundred and forty-two dollars. Will you be paying by cash or credit? Hey where do you think you're going?"
Two of the three silently slip behind the counter then pull down the kid's pants and start sucking on his dick while the third leans over to kiss his lips with her voluptious lips and smokey breath.
Completely taken aback, the kid wakes up from his extravagant dream about being a smoke shop attendant and finds he can't get back to sleep. "Shit, shit, shit."