I before E, except after http://

It is becoming more and more obvious that most people are forgetting (or don't care) how to spell. And in a digital world where the information needs to get to you first - function over form - I've relaxed my spelling and grammar etiquette a little bit, beleive me. But no matter how many spelling mistakes you make while rofling ur lol, you must always make sure you remember how to properly spell one thing - the name of the website. If you screw that up, it is impossible to know where you might end up (though it's statistically probable that it will be a porn site).

I myself made this mistake recently - I forgot how to spell the name of this very website. In fact, for the last 3 months since the site's launch, I've been actively trying to navigate to weirdcomedy.blogspot.com (ahh! feels good to finally type it right). The beauty of the internet is that you tend to get interested in the sites you find, even if you are lost, so my misspellings of this website have led me to several other interesting pages. To save you the time and the free iPod offers, I have documented my travels and must warn others: do not spell WeirdComedy wrong.

• wiredcomedy.blogspot.com
• Formerly a popular IT and computer joke database in the late 90s, the rights to the website have since been transferred to "Wired Comedy" an improv comedy troupe in which all of the members have braces.
• idrewmycoed.blogspot.com
• For the past 10 years, IDrewMyCoed has been the premiere art destination for college parents wanting to show off anything from charcoal sketches to finger paintings of their female undergraduates. There are currently no pictures on display and the site is under federal investigation.
• ewcorydidme.blogspot.com
• A social networking site for young women who have had the regrettable experience of hooking up with any guy named Cory. The site is based off of the fundamental principle that there never has been a guy named Cory worth talking positively about. New users to the site are cautioned that child star Feldman's first name is spelled Corey, thus exempting him from the rule.
• medicdrewyo.blogspot.com
• "Medic Drew, Yo!" appeals to the young, urban crowd and claims to be the number one site for low-income medical advice on a no-income salary. Unintelligible users violently mash the keyboard until a health question is formed, at which point Medic Drew, M.D. hits them back with advice that they can comprehend in an welfare-centric medium: rap lyrics. "She stripper, she dancer, da Mistubishi Lancer - done smoked and now you do da cancer. Medic Drew, yo!"
• deridemycow.blogspot.com
• A site where bitter farmers come to contemptuously ridicule other farmers' livestock.
• myredcowdied.blogspot.com
• A memorial website dedicated to remembering a great amber-colored bovine who was pushed over the edge after reading the hateful comments about him on deridemycow.blogspot.com

So in summary, there are 2 m's. Don't misspell it.

Titanic Goes Down

I enjoy giving and recieving. Acts of kindness, that is. Holding the door for someone, or having someone prop the door for you when your hands are full. These are the little things in life that remind me of our collective humanitarian ambitions. It's the sour apples that enjoy sour appleness that tickle my anger.

For instance, why would you hire someone to act as a key producer in your internet upstart company, and then not pay them? Do you build the Titanic with workers that actually want it to hit an iceburg and go down into the abyss? No my friends, you don't. Leonardo would have taken a serious digger off the front of that monumental ship because the handrail was faulty. Splash! Oh, sorry boss, my bad. So much for bangin' out that chick in the backseat of someone elses model T. I can't get that image of her handprint on the window out of my mind by the way.

Moving on, I got a ride up a steep hill today from a complete stranger that assumed I was a student on his campus when in fact I was only there for a freelance editing job. I could have been a serial killer for all this kid knew, but turns out it's me. Lucky for him that he's still alive, lucky for me that I didn't break a sweat this morning before arriving at work. The moral of the story is that you should be constantly looking to give out random acts of kindness, just not to serial killers. They'll kill you slow.

Parker

loudtalkers

In my opinion, the only thing worse than a close-talker is a loud talker. I've encountered a few of these "loud talkers" recently and have been curious as to how they became the way they are. First let me clarify who loud talkers (subsequently referred to as LT's) are. An LT talks above the normal decibel standard of a conversation. They aren't deaf, but choose to project their voice louder than the average person. What concerns me about loud talkers is their inability to recognize how loud they are actually talking. Sometimes LT's actually scream what they want to say without even realizing it. Anyways, this is just a quick message to all LT's out there....Shhhhhhh

Love,

Your quiet and polite friends.

Late Night Conversation

Steve Grudist walked into his local 7-11 last night at 3:46 AM for some peanut M&M's and another tall, cold Coors Light. As he exited the facility he was accosted by two men standing 5 foot 8 and 6 foot 2, respectively. These homeless men were cold, hungry, and worst of all, hyped up on a combination of crystal meth and paint fumes. They smelled like a swamp infested with rats and diseased vermin, but Steve choked back his disgust and kindly said hello to the two men standing in his way.
"Hey Guys, what can I do you for?"
Confused by his upbeat nature, the men pulled back in fear, confusion and fear, but mainly because of the drugs. Regaining his confidence quickly, the taller man replied "Gimme some change."
"Well that's all? Sure, here ya go fella!"
Steve pulled his change out of his pocket and handed it to the bum's outstretched hand, who thanked him by grunting twice.
"And your beer man, gimme your beer too."
"I'm afraid not homey-slice, this one's mine. Now I can either continue to argue with you about this, or I can kick you in the face and take my change back, or you can move aside and let me go, it's your choice."
The two homeless, dirty, smelly men looked at each other, thought about what Steve said, forgot what Steve said, then out of confusion and fear, parted to allow Steve's passage. That's it. That's the story. He went home and ate his peanut M&M's and drank his cold, tall Coors Light alone in his studio apartment.

A Series of Unfortunate Events

Today, I left my pathetic work study job to go have lunch in my favorite chair down the hallway. This is a ritual for me. Excited to eat my turkey and pepper jack cheese sandwich, I opened my lunch and sat down. Then.....BOOM!! An explosion from underneath me. Someone had placed their full styrofoam cup of coffee conveniently on the seat of the chair in which I sat. Coffee flew everywhere, and the back of my shorts got drenched with a nice brown stain. It seriously looked like I shit my pants. Looking forward to the potential embarassment of being a 22 year old law student who shits his pants, I went to the bathroom and began drying off the coffee with paper towels to no avail. People were coming in and out of the bathroom as I essentially wiped my ass in front of them. It was horrible and didn't work. Plan B. I stood underneath the hand dryer and awkwardly tried to position my shorts to be dried off. More people came in, but at this point, I didn't care. My balls were going to be soaking in coffee-drenched boxer briefs all day, so at the very least, I'd get rid of all the visible damage. Currently, I'm sitting at work, with little inclination to get up until I know the stain is gone. I might actually stay for my entire shift today.

But what really infuriates me about this whole situation is that there was a trash can immediately next to the chair on which the coffee was on. Is it really that hard to lift your arm an extra inch to put the cup in the garbage?! Apparently, it is. I'm afraid to sit down. Damn you coffee drinking swine!