Today, I left my pathetic work study job to go have lunch in my favorite chair down the hallway. This is a ritual for me. Excited to eat my turkey and pepper jack cheese sandwich, I opened my lunch and sat down. Then.....BOOM!! An explosion from underneath me. Someone had placed their full styrofoam cup of coffee conveniently on the seat of the chair in which I sat. Coffee flew everywhere, and the back of my shorts got drenched with a nice brown stain. It seriously looked like I shit my pants. Looking forward to the potential embarassment of being a 22 year old law student who shits his pants, I went to the bathroom and began drying off the coffee with paper towels to no avail. People were coming in and out of the bathroom as I essentially wiped my ass in front of them. It was horrible and didn't work. Plan B. I stood underneath the hand dryer and awkwardly tried to position my shorts to be dried off. More people came in, but at this point, I didn't care. My balls were going to be soaking in coffee-drenched boxer briefs all day, so at the very least, I'd get rid of all the visible damage. Currently, I'm sitting at work, with little inclination to get up until I know the stain is gone. I might actually stay for my entire shift today.
But what really infuriates me about this whole situation is that there was a trash can immediately next to the chair on which the coffee was on. Is it really that hard to lift your arm an extra inch to put the cup in the garbage?! Apparently, it is. I'm afraid to sit down. Damn you coffee drinking swine!
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