Hell Date

So I've never been on a blind date before, until yesterday. Winging for a friend of mine who just met a girl and insisted on making it a double date, we met two girls for drinks. Obviously, I didn't pay for any of her shit. I took one look at my "date," who was not hot, and really wanted to abort the mission early on. So not to be a complete dick, I figured I'd engage in some light conversation with her. I was going to be spending at least another hour with them until I formulated my escape plan, and friendly conversation is always pleasant. Unless the girl you are talking to has a horrible Jersey accent and the intelligence of a farm animal. Here is what our conversation consisted of: (I am C, she is B...for Bitch)

C: So what do you do Melissa?
B: It's Alyssa
C: Close enough.

(awkward silence)

C: Seriously though, what do you do?
B: I'm a yaegermeister girl.
C: So you wear slutty clothing and hand out shots?
B: No, we're classy, we wear pants.
C: I didn't know pants were classy. (Internal monlogue - Are you sure they don't just make you wear pants b/c your legs look terrible)
B: (laughs)
C: Do you do anything else? That can't be your only job.
B: I work for an export company.
C: What do you export, bodies?
B: Hardwood flooring.
C: Wow. That's great. I bet there is a huge market for that.
B: There is actually.
C: Great.

And that's when I aborted. I actually ended up meeting a real cute girl while my "date" watched me. I win.