I was recently hired as a "technical services specialist" under the work/study program at my law school. For those who don't know what a work/study position is, you bascially choose from a variety of jobs that require minimal amounts of effort. And by minimal, I mean no effort at all. After going through a lengthy and comletely unnecessary interview that discussed all of my previous employment history and career aspirations, I was hired into this position. Let me break down what is required of me. 1) Sit at a sweet podium in a foreign language computer lab, 2)Enforce the "no food or drink" policy (which I obviously don't do...I'm currently eating and drinking in the lab), and 3)When a student asks where to sign in for their appropriate class, I raise my arm to the left and point at the notebook entitled "Sign-In." That is all I have to do, and let me tell you, it is way too fucking much to ask of me...so I've figured out how to beat the system. This is how I've done it.
-I come in 45 minutes late every day. I know my boss doesn't know my hours, so I write down that I was on time.
-My boss sits in an office adjacent to the computer lab. He rarely gets up and can't see me from where his desk is. So every 30 minutes, I leave my podium but leave tons of books and papers on the table to make it look like I'm doing something important. I actually just got back from a 2 1/2 hour lunch break. (My shift is only 4 hours).
-I made a huge sign that directs students to the sign-in sheet, because I was tired of pointing to it.
-I have premade excuses in case he ever asks where I was (i.e. I was in the bathroom, I was helping someone create a username in the campus center, etc.)
-I patronize my boss, so he feels like he should be honored to have me working for him. This prevents him from trying to tell me what to do.
I get paid 10 dollars an hour for this shit, so to all of you New Jersey tax payers....thank you.
No comments:
Post a Comment