You Might Know Him

This fucker wakes me up every god damn morning. 8 o'clock on the dot, every freaking day. I smack him as hard as I can, but no matter what he's fucking screaming at me five minutes later. I hate getting up and he's always trying his hardest to make me do just that. But I gotta love him for it because I wouldn't have a job by now if it wasn't for him. He's got a great taste in music and is dependable, so I keep him in my loop. Good looking too, very sleek, always styled. Pimp as hell, I know hundreds of girls that have him in their bedrooms. He's a good dude, but I don't take him on vacation with me, because nobody wants an alarm clock on vacation. Fucking alarm clock. Haha.