Deceased Californian artists are being found in back alleys, on the beach and in the middle of downtown streets in large numbers. Lack of interest in their introspective artwork is chief among possible causes of death. Most believe that these starving artists just, well, starved. About the recently deceased man laying in a nearby gutter, this local said that "his work was genius, a true artist. But honestly, I would rather just buy a fresh pair of kicks or go to the movies than purchase his stuff." General audiences feel the same way, as a tourist was recently overheard saying that "it's good artwork, but I just don't care. Plus, they smell funny and dress like bums. I want to buy artwork from people that don't look like they're starving, thank you." When confronted about his thinning physique, a local artist replied, "yea, I'm starving and these people don't even care. They would rather jerk off to Jason Bourne than intellectually stimulate their minds. Gosh I'm hungry." Sucks for you, artist.
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