Scientists were baffled this past Monday when a common man revealed that all of Einstein's findings, anything Stephen Hawking has ever said, and life as we know it is completely ass backwards and wrong. Using a simple digital camera and a black hole found in his attic, John from Chicago stunned the world. No optical trickery, illusions or LSD were used to produce this image. John has found a gateway into other worlds where there are other Johns looking right back with similar cameras, confused faces, and the same visual deficiencies. The other John from the side other issued a statement in a foreign tongue that stumped our best translator, Miguel. "Me have no clue what he says, no." Even local Scientologists were taken aback, which, given that they believe in a science fiction author's incessant ranting, is also odd. I hope the world isn't going to end soon because I would totally owe that homeless guy the twenty bucks I bet him he was wrong. Well, here's hoping.
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